From the category archives:
I would like to write some hate letters to the computer system gods, keyboards, and the muscle memory of keyboard shortcuts. Why, why WHY does the End button go to the end of the line on PC yet it goes to the end of the entire document on Mac? The good news is that I […]
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I’ll cut your heart out with a spoon! Why a spoon, cousin? Because it’s dull you idiot, it will hurt more! … My favorite movie. Actually, it’s not my favorite favorite but it’s definitely up there. Prince of Thieves. I do love Alan Rickman in it (and in Harry Potter!) and I’m sad he died. […]
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View this post on Instagram A post shared by adam d (@countingcrows) If my wishes came true
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I’m so crabby. I’m so done with this hospital. It’s been 6 full days here. Will we leave on the 7th? I’m terrible at Mario Kart. I lost at Five Crowns. I’m so fucking irritated at everything. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Everyone is pissing me off. Except Sam. I’m putting on a […]
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I used to do a lot of selling on eBay in 2000 through 2023. Meg Whitman was the CEO of eBay and I really admired her. I didn’t agree with some of her politics (she ran for Gov of CA as a Rep at some point) but I was tempted to vote for her because […]
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I cried coming home from the hospital. But I’ve cried every time I’ve walked down that walkway to the parking structure. I cried on my bed. I’m not crying going back to the hospital. I’m more determined when I drive there. Or resigned? Maybe hopeful? The surgery was a success. So far. But the recovery […]
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5th floor, looking east, from UCI Hospital. The fireworks started early. I could hear the bursts when I came back at 6pm. The sun went down at 8:05 and by 8:15 you could hear the sounds and Sam said she could see them around 8:20 which is when I put up the blinds to see […]
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I am obsessed with all the ads I see in Facebook right now. I had an epiphany a few weeks ago when I heard my daughter talking about a popular pop-culture figure that she is obsessed with. I was nodding when she was telling me but a day or two later I started seeing ads […]
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I wanted to sit and write about a specific topic. But my mind keeps jumping around and can’t settle down. It’s June 28th. Dirk’s birthday, oddly enough I still remember that. And then all the 28ths go right down in a line: Grandpa Gene dying on Jan 28th, Danny dying on April 28th, J’s Dad […]
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Grief is hard. It hits at unexpected moments, sounds, memories, and times of day. The sound of the ding in my airpods that reminds me of a text that never comes through. The amount of crying selfies I’ve taken haunts me. Am I a teenage girl? I’ve resorted to hiding them in a folder. Except […]
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I know why I felt outraged the last time. The last time was hard because.. and I quote, “HOW. EMOTIONAL. that was for me to have to smile at my daughter while I don’t know what my husband is doing since he was out for five minutes.” Man, that sentence doesn’t even really make sense. […]
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Having children is like having your heart outside your body – is a quote that pops to mind as I keep obsessing over my oldest. Watching and waiting to find out if Sam has to have surgery is hard. Watching her walk around wearing her emotions on her sleeve is even more painful. It’s a […]
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Death is interesting. It’s sad. It’s powerful. It’s tender. It’s uncomfortable. There is connection there. Somewhere. The few times I’ve been confronted with death, I’ve tried to stay away. Or at least at arms length. Danny. My Grammy. Juanita. Teddy. Grandpa Gene. The classmate from 8th grade on our Washington DC trip. Man, that was […]
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I’m going to do another post – maybe – about the last few weeks. But once I realized John was declining, I started finding all my photos of him and writing down a few things that I wanted to remember. I wasn’t sure if was for a speech during a funeral or just a memory […]
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I wanted a birthday party. Full stop. I’m honestly not sure what to write after that. I wanted to be surrounded by people I love and who I know love me? I wanted to celebrate life. I wanted to be fancy and fun and have some joy? And not do dishes. I think I would […]
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