Raising the Right Kind of Girl

by Kristi on April 2, 2012 · 0 comments

“Who is our President again?”

“Remember? You know who it is.”

“Oh yea. Obama.”


“He’s a boy.”

“He is a boy. But the President could be a girl too.”

“No! It’s a boy. It has to be a boy.”

“No, honey, the President can be a woman. Hillary Clinton was almost going to run for President. We just haven’t had a President yet who is a woman. You could be the next President, you know.” I start to feel like I’m getting on a soap box and am unsure of how much to say. 

“No. I’m going to be a cook when I grow up.”

“You would make a great cook.” Once I teach you how to boil water that is… I change the subject. Better to quit while I’m ahead. 


Reading this made me think of that conversation we had in the car a few weeks ago.

There’s women, and there are people who wear a bunch of fucking makeup.


Maybe that’s the ticket: Telling her to just please ignore all the shit she’s going to hear about how to be a lady, and just focus on being an interesting, good and cool person, and to view the rest of it as the equivalent of an amusing app you can download for fun -not the cornerstone of an actual identity.


It’s figuring out how to get that focus on the interesting, good, cool, loyal, and nice attributes and not that crappy stuff. Yes, we give her barbies. We also give her Lego’s. Pink, sparkly ‘made for girls’ Lego’s, but still. I hardly ever wear makeup around her, I try NEVER to use the word ‘fat’ in her hearing, and I try to make sure she is being thoughtful and kind to her friends and family.

I hope it’s working. I’m crazy proud of the person she is becoming and can only hope it continues to get better.

One of the most important aspects is the school she is currently in right now. A private school. An expensive private school but I hope that investment will pay off.

Reading “A Teacher’s Open Letter to her 8th Grade Students” gives me chills. We already know that the testing is a complete and utter joke in public school.

What I learned is that the test is also criminal.

All that matters, it turns out, is that you cite two facts from the reading material in every answer. That gives you full credit. You can compose a “Gettysburg Address” for the 21st century on the apportioned lines in your test booklet, but if you’ve provided only one fact from the text you read in preparation, then you will earn only half credit. In your constructed response—no matter how well written, correct, intelligent, noble, beautiful, and meaningful it is—if you’ve not collected any specific facts from the provided readings (even if you happen to know more information about the chosen topic than the readings provide), then you will get a zero.


I felt a force that wants you ignorant and pliable, and that needs you able to fill in the boxes and follow instructions.

Continue to question, Ruth Ann Dandrea continues on to say.

Links found through Everywhereist and Lisa Barone’s Weekend links.

Even though my daughter is in Kindergarten, I always enjoy reading what the older classes are doing each week at our school.

The middle school ‘went to jail’ last week and got to sit in on traffic court and then participate in a ‘mock trial’. A lower grade went to the Museum of Tolerance. Another grade is going to Catalina Island for a 3 day trip. The first overnight trips start in fourth grade (up to Sacramento – the parents are welcome to come on that first trip – after that, I think it’s only a lucky few.)

Actually I lied, I don’t really think they are lucky. I usually try and avoid the field trips. Too many screaming kids.

But anyway… I remember being able to go and sleep on the big ship in Dana Point when I was in fifth grade. I think the whole class went on that. We went to Washington DC when I was in 8th (sadly a classmate died from a heart problem during the trip) and that was only a few of us. But while I loved those trips, I know most of those types of things are being thrown out of public school at this time.

I know in Kindergarten we have three, possibly four, actual field trips that they go on. Each year there are opportunities for our kids to get out and explore, question, learn, and become independent. If we continue on to the high school, they have a recommended international travel week where they are required to get community service hours completed. I adore that.

Even if we  move to public school in the next few years, it will be our job to seek out those extracurricular activites that help enrich our child, expose her to the history of the world, and teach her to be a helpful individual.

Extra-curricular activities... She is in the PINK

I personally don’t feel up to the daily task of schooling which is why I’m entrusting it to the school that we are currently enrolled in. Being in California, I feel we have a lot of other options as well. I feel lucky that we have that option and I completely admire so many of the parents at the school who are sacrificing many things to provide that education for their kids.

I feel like I’m constantly justifying the expense to myself. The reason for it. Why shouldn’t they just go to public school? Gah.

It does makes me happy that the HUGE Mega Millions lottery we just had could possibly net our public schools over $100 million. It might save 1,000 teacher jobs and seeing as how I have at least 6 friends who currently have teaching positions? I’m SO happy for them.

I’m also starting to see the public service announcements about the upcoming election for a tax to support schools in California. I want to look very closely at any tax I will say YES to but if it’s for our schools (and ONLY our schools?) then hell yes, let’s go for that!

What other ways can we teach our girls to be interesting and good people?

I guess I need to start by teaching her her how to boil that water.

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