Some people have all the luck in potty training. You think you can go a few days or weeks with some bribes and then at some point it will work. Well good for you.
*grumbles* Just kidding, Dave.
We’ve been at these bribes for almost a year now. The list is long, my friends. It started out with M&Ms, then moved quickly to pretzels. Those were pretty exciting for awhile and we got some shrill shrieks and giggles about how “I’m going to go, I’m going to go, I’m going to go!!!!” and then nothing.
Then it moved to Disneyland. To a train set, packaged in the box next to the toilet. To a special cookie that Campitelli Cookies “made” for him and was waiting at the store, ready to be picked up!
He wanted to wait until Christmas for all of that. Then we went to Disneyland for Sam’s birthday… then I tricked hubby into buying Disney passes because “it’s cheaper if we go for Sam’s bday next year” and we are going over other week now, plus G is going with the Grandparents.
Legoland… Lego Star Wars figures…. Lego Starwars THINGS. Watching Star Wars. Watching anything. Whatever you want? We will give it to you NOW if you poop.
We dutifully shake the box full of Lego’s at him and beg him to go.
“But Mama,” he says, as he gestures his hands up in the air. “I just LOVE to go in my diaper. It just really feels good.”
We’ve argued. We’ve refused. Screamed. Cried. Negotiated. (Some of that him, some of it us.) He’s thrown up in protest. In fear. I left him along with my husband for three days to get the job done. The three year old won. I’ve tried sitting with him for hours near the toilet. We went pants-less for a few days.
Then we just try ignoring it. If we don’t say anything, he continues to remind us how he loves his diapers.
We’ve heard the advice. Cutting holes in the diapers. Buying newborn size.
We are also on Miralax and mineral oil for his previous bowel problems and we can’t get too crazy.
Making him change his own diapers would be an interesting experiment. In the summer. With a hose. Outside. Other than that, I don’t really want him touching anything.. dirty… down there. 🙂 It’s not like my children are ‘REGULAR’. If your child has ever taken Miralax or mineral oil for any length of time, you know there is nothing REGULAR or NORMAL about what comes out. It’s a production. It’s not easy. Or clean.
This post is mostly to grumble. It cracks me up to hear single friends roll their eyes about parenting stories and the second their newborn babies come out… within 3 days, you hear them start talking about poop.
At some point, he will magically start doing what he needs to do and I will think back about these trying times and go THANK GOD THAT IS OVER. And worry about the next thing. 🙂
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The next thing, like doing hard drugs on the playground or base jumping off of the swing set. Without a ‘chute.
The last part of your post cracked me up. Poop IS an epic saga. I was talking to a friend last night, complaining that it’s ridiculous that we can go to work, and manage people and huge projects, and balance million dollar budgets and be lauded and get all this positive feedback and affirmation, then come home and be slaves to a completely irrational human that refuses to poop anywhere but in its own pants.
If you told someone just that story, without including the fact that you were a parent, they would assume you worked nights in a mental hospital or were a caretaker for someone with dementia, and they would talk about your incredible personal strength and commitment. You tack on that you’re a parent and the dialogue shifts to, “ugh. Can we not talk about poop?”
Poop is a big part of our lives, people! We think about it constantly. We ask if it’s going to happen, if it might happen, if it IS happening, if it has happened, many times a day. Which reminds me of this: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwy0ess1C61qbymou.jpg
Which is from him: http://messagewithabottle.tumblr.com/
And if that doesn’t make your day better, probably nothing can.
You and J are awesome, and the end of potty training is probably closer to you now than you know. It’s hard to “keep at it” when you feel like you’re not actually doing anything effective…but Keep at it!
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Base jumping off swing sets was always popular when I was a kid.
Love that Tumblr!!
And you better ‘keep at it’ too! At least it’s working for someone? LOL
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