Introspective time..
I feel like it’s time to check the calendar and see what day I’m at in my cycle but it’s not critical. I’ve been saying that I want to do a full hormone check in 2027 but I can’t blame it on that either.
I’m just plain avoidant.
I spent all weekend hiding and I need a better reason for “I just didn’t want to”. But that is a good reason. I’m going to argue with myself here.
The Norte Fire was a block away from my sister so she evacuated and wanted to come to my house. I said of course. Of course that set off other things. But I had spent lunch drinking with Bobby and then my afternoon was tanked of the things I needed to get done.
We took them out to diner, did a walk with the dogs, and watched Survivor with her. They got up in the morning and headed straight home since they were not officially in the evacuation zone. It worked out! I’m glad I stepped up and hosted them.
Saturday I said, “I’m catching up” and then promptly binged Diplomat for 4 hours in the afternoon.
So good. Their fights and avoidance is like, chefs kiss. How can I learn from this?
I just don’t care enough right now. But I’m building up to where I can try. Can I try? I keep trying to try. Maybe trying.
Do I care to try.
Le sigh.
The Bestie Napa trip got cancelled and then even the girls pool day evaporated but whatever, I wasn’t mad. What I was, was fascinated that once I knew we were meeting at 5:30pm, I spent 4:30 to 5:15 being SO AWESOME at all the emails I needed to get done over the weekend, and got them scheduled to send out between 5:55am and 6:15am on Monday morning. Work done for Monday.
I am diabolical.
Also, do I have ADHD? I feel like I do and have been hyper-fixated on it for the last year since G brought it up. It’s so trendy and also I have definite signs. But not all the signs. Just enough signs to be like Kristi, figure out your patterns and fucking fix it.
Things are going so well at work AND I’m continuing to plan my things to keep me busy AND I’m low-key irritated about life.
What I did though was finally get a back-up of my iPhone. I’m down to 800 photos on my phone and did so well organizing it.
It’s like I can’t fix my life but my phone and email and VPMs are so fucking amazing looking because I’m procrastinating so hard on everything else.
9pm and I’m sitting here wondering what I’m going to do with my night. At least I had bestie time, and have it planned for tomorrow.
I have my week to look forward to… my 3rd LA trip in as many weeks, and G coming home for the weekend.
Why am I never satisfied?
Reminder that I need to stop hiding and figure out what I want… Thank you Six of Cups I pulled yesterday.
