Regret

Long story short, G and I were in the car on a Sunday morning hunting down an Urgent Care to go to. Nothing “urgent” but something that needed to be taken care of and it was impossible to do with regular normal doctor working hours and G’s recent schedule.

It was kinda funny, the urgent care his Dr recommended SAID it was open on their website but noooo they were closed. Teeny tiny sign proclaiming that on their door. We should have guessed from the empty parking lot. Of course it was 20 minutes away from our house, and the next one was another 15 minutes away in the opposite direction.

Anyway. We found something. We waited. We conquered. We had a nice conversation with the Dr about the fancy new AI that was going to take notes for us but didn’t actually work. haha

I do need to go to the pharmacy though and I really… really… really don’t want to leave my house at all right now. The silence of my empty house is addicting.

So here I sit. Procrastinating instead. Writing!

Breathing…

Helpful reframe…

But I had my 17yo in the car! For… *tries to do math* at least two hours.

His Homecoming was last night. And ohhhh, the PAIN of having a boy child for school dances versus a girl child. I can’t even. Suffice to say I gave up trying to understand the “plan” and went out with my Mom to go see a Candlelight string quartet of Abba & Queen. It was a good choice.

I still don’t even have pictures! I will have to nag his girlfriend shortly. I just wanted photos!

But he was giving me the run-down in the car. This dramatic thing happened. He tried to help. It worked out. But so-and-so was still upset. And then these other things happened. But it was… overall… a much better experience than past dances because of several reasons. (Personality, anxiety, optimism, etc.)

I asked his thoughts on how to fix it next time. I gave my opinion – but probably didn’t need to… but I am who I am.

I brought up one of his old friends from his actual school. What was going on with him?

And he paused. Then he described the feeling he gets from friends at his current school versus friends at his old school he attended his Freshman year – and whom he primarily hangs out with now – and for the last 8 months. And who he went to Homecoming with.

Without going into too many details here – we discussed it a bit. And I said… “When you are old and have a 14yo child who is in their freshman year and wants to switch schools because of friends, will you let them?”

And he thought about it and said, “I don’t know.”

I rephrased my question a bit. I don’t remember what I asked but he started talking about how the kids at his current school don’t prioritize emotional connections like the ones at at YL do. The kids a V are so focused on their future, on getting the right college resume together, that it’s harder for him to connect. They never reach out to just ‘hang out’.

Now I don’t know if that’s true or not because, just like Sam did, he’s had 3 friend group switches. He had such a solid core friend group from 6-10th grade and of course, a girl messed it all up. (I’m saying that completely justified as his mother!)

And I asked him if he regretted switching from YL to V and he paused again. I think he said, I don’t know. But I remember him saying that he thinks that going to V the last 2.5 years has made him smarter.

I said it would be interesting to see if going through the IB program would “make it all worth it” by getting him into SLO or SDSU. But I don’t even know if that matters. And I really didn’t like saying that right after I said it. It doesn’t really matter. But going to one of those colleges and “experiencing” the true college experience I think would be worth it. But it may be I think that because I never experienced it. And I’m watching S go through it now. But that’s not to say G won’t have an amazing and interesting and valuable time if he ends up going locally.

At the end of that particular conversation I brought up how relationships were so important. Who you work with – and I talked about my boss and past bosses – and who you live life with are so important and really frame how we move forward in life.

I hope he doesn’t regret moving. I think he can appreciate what he’s learned from it.

But such an interesting conversation. And we had such other lovely conversations too, as well as quiet time… and some Jay Shetty & Judd Apatow podcasting… and Taylor Swift belting… which was the urgent care that I needed on a Sunday morning.

I’d like to think that he’s such an “old soul” that he recognizes that while he’s moving through painful moments, it’s good growth and he can appreciate what he’s learning from it.