I wanted to sit this weekend and take some time to reflect on my FREAKING PROMOTION that I’ve nagged my bosses about for two years. It’s been over 3 years since I got promoted to my Director title.
A moment of silence for that.
Sigh.
Nope. Still hurts.
So with A, I asked about M3. With horrible W, I asked about M3 – he was useless. I still pat myself on the back for orchestrating that exit. With C, I’ve nagged about M3.
I really pushed hard at my yearly in February for it. He agreed, of course he agrees with me on everything and never does it, but if he’s gonna agree with me… it’s gonna happen.
I pushed for it. I advocated for myself. And it finally happened. Two weeks ago.
This time around, it wasn’t about the title. Which is good because he wouldn’t make me Sr. Director.
It wasn’t about the office.
I wanted to be M3, I wanted the stock options – whatever those were – I wanted the 20% bonus potential instead of the 15% that I had. I wanted the 10% expected RAISE I would get because college is expensive.
I’m so grateful Grandparents are paying for so much of college. But still, buying shit for dorm rooms is expensive. And food. Food is expensive! And travel. Ha!
It made it worse knowing MOST Directors were at that level and I didn’t get it way back when. It made me feel like I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t valued. I just took advantage of a hole that was made and grabbed what I could.
However. That’s mostly how life is.
Also, I AM valued, I am appreciated. It may not be in the exact way I want it but there’s a lesson somewhere.
With my boss, it’s all about the follow-up. I want to remind myself that I asked him every few weeks how the process was going. It forced him to actually look me in the eye and be accountable and tell me if I was worth it or not. And I know that’s what always moves things forward and I worked on it.
There were actually times where he proactively told me it was moving forward.
The fact that it made me so happy when he did that is kinda sad. I do get value out of being considered.
The biggest hurdle was always evil Spanish HR. That guy.
It doesn’t help that I once told him to let me talk more next time. I don’t think he likes me. I don’t like him, so that’s fair.
So when I heard the news that I GOT TO get a 360 Review done with my peers, I had a strategy. Anisha laughed at me because it backfired in a few ways but mostly, it was a solid strategy. I made my boss send that email to 35 people.
And I’m going to complain because I’m going to come back and read this in 2 years and remember and go OH YEAH.
Well, I’m not going to forget that my boss DID NOT EMAIL that freaking survey to everyone on my list. And how did I find out? I found out by idiotic Spanish HR who actually copied me on the email of who didn’t fill it out yet.
Thank you CK for NOT filling it out for your manager. I will remember that and I know you didn’t do it after the reminder either. I’m returning the favor by NOT giving a recommendation to you since you’ve moved on to another department.
But when I texted 7 of the people who OWE ME FAVORS and who I know would fill it out – they said, Oh, I don’t see it! And when I went to ask C about it… he comes running into my office. “Oh, it was really difficult sending this BCC, and I think I may have been distracted half-way through”.
You…
I would call him a name but I just want to sigh.
He is who is he. And in a few short months, if he sticks around, he will have been the boss I’ve had for the longest time of my tenure here so far. Which is wild. I was FOR SURE convinced he was going to be out in another role in a year. To be fair, he’s not really playing his role at the moment. But I definitely don’t see him leave this year for anything else.
Anyway, that was fun. Also, he did the same thing for evil French guy – and oh, I made sure he fixed that one right up. When he doesn’t send a 360 review to the guys DIRECT REPORTS or the person who has accused him of a few things, I take expection to that. After I talked to the VP of HR about him, and she told me he would get one, everyone DESERVED to fill out that review on him.
I enjoyed doing it for me. Is he going to get a promotion anyway? Yes, he probably is. VP may have said she was going to recommend he get a 360 but I know this guys is gonna leverage it into a promotion in some way. Even if no one trusts him and he shouldn’t be a people leader. He’s brilliant in other ways.
I’m haunting WorkDay waiting for the title change. And also imagining what HIS meeting looked like with C and HR with much less averages than I got. Will it matter? No. But still. I can dream.
ALSO.. I took care of the problem directly with him AND I advocated for my team with the VP of HR and showed her that I take care of my shit and I’m on her side. Especially with my promotion waiting. So that was incredibly successful.
I have plans. I execute on those plans. I am – and should – be happy with that.
And I am happy with it. I’m writing this down to really reflect on that because of the feelings rolling around.
I have a big feeling that even if I got a 10% raise, I would have been unhappy that it should have been 15%.
So the fact that it came in at 6.6% is bullshit. SO MAD. I had gone to happy hour the night before with my US HR rep – who is a good friend – and she already knew I was going to be unhappy. She said she wasn’t involved in it at all. I love her. She told me to talk to her after and she was the one who convinced me that I should push back. And push back immediately.
It was 5k away from a really obvious round number. It should have been that number.
I did push back though. I sent a very nice email that night. And got a reply early the next morning that no, they would not be doing that.
I do take solace in the fact that my boss was worried about it, called me in, and subtly talked me through it. AND promised that he would go to the VP and get my merit pulled forward early.
Did he do that? No, he didn’t. I just got the contract and signed it and it was at the lower number. But I’m hopeful that I will get higher than the 3.5% I asked for… hopeful. What gets me to the round number was 2.5% and I should get higher than that. But if I got the number in the first place… Anyway. Rawr. And my boss was traveling, in a board meeting, and stressed. So I get it.
I do have to consider that it’s HUGE that I am getting such a large amount of RSUs plus the 5% extra bonus gives me an actual POTENTIAL raise of 23%.
23% raise!
Am I getting that in this economy with our shit bonuses? No I am not.
Will our stock prices go up after I get my RSU in the yearly update? Who knows. But 25k a year is a huge number of stock to just be given to me. I’m literally thrilled. That is SO COOL.
But it’s hard to argue that. That is very generous.
Except the base is what is important. Everyone knows that.
But I’m M3 now. When our office moves, I’m guaranteed to keep my personal office. And I got to sit in a room with my boss, and on video with evil Spanish HR and they got to basically tell me how wonderful I am. And how valued.
That was overwhelming. I’m thinking about it right now and I really didn’t let it sit with me as I should.
Reading back over it once (and for the 4th time editing) definitely gets me in the feelings. I’m putting it all here for posterity. It felt good.
Here is what the 1 pager spit out:
The feedback story is consistent: Kristi is seen as trusted, collaborative, calm under pressure, customer-oriented, and disciplined in execution. The development opportunity is to help her scale from strong execution and team leadership into broader enterprise impact.
The next phase should focus on operating differently at scale: making strategic thinking more visible, linking digital work to commercial value, creating repeatable experimentation, and leading through systems, delegation, and governance rather than personal follow-through alone.
Strengths to Preserve and Use as Development Assets
• Trust, integrity, and respect: Use credibility as the foundation for influencing without formal authority.
• Collaboration and stakeholder partnership: Continue bringing people with her while becoming more explicit about direction and trade-offs.
• Composure under pressure: Pair calm presence with a stronger visible point of view in senior forums.
• Customer and data orientation: Translate insights into commercial priorities, measurable impact, and scalable global decisions.
These AI overviews of the feedback are fascinating. And I know I filled out my own 360 review but some of this is not from my suggestions, definitely from others.
And reminding myself that I had Steve and Shanzana fill it out – I also sent it to Rosi. I don’t think she filled it out though. I don’t work with her enough. I had some senior leadership hopefully advocating for me though.
Was this for my boss? No, I really wanted this on file for HR. I wanted the VP of HR to hear about it. I wanted my boss to at least acknowledge this and appreciate me more.
Does he appreciate anyone? I’m not really sure. But he depends on me for some extent. He’s so odd. But at least I’m finding his tells now. That always makes me laugh when I can surprise him.
But I really want to leverage this for the next 12-24 months. I want to have a roadmap, follow the damn roadmap, and make it happen. Plus, this is my roadmap to go BACK to my boss (or whoever it will be) in two years and fight for that Senior Director title. Because that is what I want in 2-3 years.
It’s hard to do right now being in pre-work prep for the CEO Kaizen and our Marketing Workshop but it’s here, there is no rush, and now I have my plan.
And I’m bringing this confident, go-getter vibe into my CEO Kaizen, and the next week at the Marketing Workshop… and I’m going to sail through with my extra responsibilities of managing eComm for 4 other OpCos other than my own. Has my boss told the BU heads this yet? No. But it’s happening and if I have to tell them, they will believe me. So… confident me. Sailing ahead.
Reading through my actual feedback analysis was incredible too. I kinda want to post all my feedback here but this is a reminder to go look at my file when I need a pick-me-up!
I’m absolutely holding a grudge, CK, that as my current direct report, you didn’t fill it out! I think he knew he was moving off my team, although I should go back for my own nagging feeling to see if that happened before or after. Ha.
Does it matter, Kristi? No, it doesn’t. But I still hold grudges.
Nothing lower than an 8.5.
Am I gloating to myself knowing that evil French’s guys LOWEST number would be Ethics and Integrity?
Yes I am. I think I rated him a 2 on the “Creates a climate of mutual trust”, a 4 on “Is trusted by others” and a 5 on “Treats people consistently with respect” . Ha. I also gave 3’s on the Interpersonal Skills.
Is that a terrible trait to have? Gloating? Kind of. Also, really satisfying. I’m standing by it for now. I know 3 other people that rated him those things 5 or 6. I think I was the only one willing to go below a 5 in certain areas knowing HR was reading it. And I hope that skews his rating.
I rated myself lower on Business Acumen, I know. I should go back and look at which ones I rated myself lower.
Had to go look. I rated myself a 9 on all those! The only 8’s I gave myself were “avoids micromanaging”, “breaks down complex issues into clear deliverables”, I gave myself THREE 8’s in the Composure section… I need to believe in myself more here. The fact that it’s so high from everyone else and lower for me means everyone rated me high. Oh and listens effectively.
I was pretty fair on myself. Lots of 10s and 9’s.
But 14 people filled this out. And it was a 32 question survey. I can’t BELIEVE evil HR makes people fill out that make questions. Ridiculous!
14 people and nothing lower than an 8.5.
I’m gonna keep repeating that to myself when I need a pick-me-up.
The analysis is 25 pages. Crazy!
Creating and Innovating was the “lowest”. Yes, I’m realizing that I went and focused on the lowest first. Oops. But still, these are great quotes.
“Very innovative and always looking to improve growth — next focus is AI
capabilities.”
— Internal Partner / Stakeholder
“Fosters an environment for the team to creatively test ideas and improve the
solution.”
— Internal Partner / Stakeholder
I’m fairly positive those are probably Jessica M and Shanzana.
And the takeaways are obvious. I DO need to experiment more. I totally agree. And now that it’s written in black and white, I am now gonna remember that. Ha.
A favorite section is Composure and Resilience. Thank you Anisha for the Project Alpha kick. haha.
“During Project Alpha, despite high CEO visibility and pressure, she confidently
led the workstream.”
— Peer
“A calming voice — she asked what was needed and let the team fix the issues.”
— Internal Partner / Stakeholder
When I saw the question about managing emotions effectively, I legit freaked out. I do not feel like I manage emotions effectively but in a work setting, I absolutely do. I have this incredible feedback from 14 people that I do. Ha.
It’s a “signature behavior”! Cited as a role model by EVERY group. These are so flattering. Seriously.
My Interpersonal Skills comments were lovely. That is something I really focus on too, so to have that high, feels good.
“Builds really strong relationships with everyone and takes time to learn about
team members.”
— Internal Partner / Stakeholder
“Empathetic across cultures; adapts her style from technical to executive
audiences.”
— Internal Partner / Stakeholder
My KEY EVIDENCE in my Business Ethics and Integrity
“One of the most respectful supervisors I’ve met — everyone is equal in her
eyes.”
— Direct Report
“Consistently demonstrates integrity, transparency and respect; builds trust
openly.”
— Internal Partner / Stakeholder
Thank you, what I think is Joao, from my team. I love it so much.
“A foundational strength – the bedrock of her team’s psychological safety.”
I love this so much. Also, 9.6, “is trusted by others”.
Happy sigh.
Under Leadership Effectiveness, I also had another quote from a different Direct Report that is thrilling.
“One of the best leaders I’ve had the pleasure of working under.”
— Direct Report
I had a few great quotes from my boss but I think I like this one the most.
“She focused on the data, not the emotion — providing statistics and facts over
opinions.”
— Manager
“Extremely analytical and methodical, filtering out the noise to allow for quick
resolution.”
— Internal Partner / Stakeholder
Wow.
Moment of silence for what I’ve achieved. I just put this write-up into AI and asked it to tell me what I might not know about myself and it made me cry.
I needed this. I need to reflect on this today. This weekend.
This is a lot and I am managing it with compassion. My word of the year.
With joy. With laughter.
I had started this journal back in April because after writing my GLOW earlier this year, I know I needed a place to hold me up and remind me of who I am.
“I enjoy talking to you because you make my day happy” Rosi
Having Rosi, a VP, say that to me made me feel so good. I set bi-monthly catchups with her and that is scary. And to know she sees value in meeting with me, felt amazing. Reading over it again makes me happy.
Even more so, were the birthday notes from my kids to me. This just makes me remember how valuable words written down are for me – and for others.
“I’m always so proud of you in everything you do & you continue to inspire me” and “continue to be a baddie slay warrior queen”. haha. Love that from Sam.
And G’s was absolutely the sweetest. The whole thing. I’m his biggest supporter. I’m 10,000 out of 10 Mother. And I inspire him from being well-prepared and confident and that pushes him to be better as well.
Can I ask for anything more from my kids? No, I can not!
“I really appreciate all your support” – Brian telling me FIRST that he was leaving. Sad face, but he needed to leave. Sigh. I’m glad he trusted me enough. When he officially left and called out in his goodbye email “Hiking in Switzerland with the Vegas Crew, still my favorite hike” that was awesome.
Michael d.l. calling me a philosopher and saying he needed a therapy appt with me once a week. LOL – I loved this! I don’t even work with him a lot but I could feel the admiration from him and that he was looking up to me when we were at the conference together.
MG was laid off in Zurich which SUCKED but what can you do. She asked for a testimonial on LI and then I asked for one back. I loved it so much. “She creates an environment where people feel trusted to do their best work, while still providing the clarity and challenge needed to achieve great outcomes. Her ability to be direct and to the point while remaining respectful, thoughtful and reasonable is truly unmatched.” She went on to say, “I recently had a conversation with a colleague about Kristi, and I found myself describing her as someone who always leaves you with something of substance every time you speak with her.”
Like… I love that so much. I want to frame it.
I can’t forget the great convo with MS (VP of HR) and then great convo with CM after. Working on my promotion, which I got. I got a big boost from that in my confidence. I prepared, I was ready, and I kicked ass.
And not to leave it out, when I was getting my mamogram, the nurse doing it said, ‘you’ve got muscle’.
Damn right, I do. And I’m going to not lose it by getting my butt into the gym after working on this post for over an hour.
ha
Deep breath. In and out. Feel it.
Exhale what’s not serving me.
